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Friday, February 1, 2008

Missing Family

It has been one year since my grandma died, six years since my mom died, eleven years since my granddad died, and almost twenty years since my other granddad died. I hate it that my family is leaving me. I know they aren't "leaving" me, but I really miss them. I love my husband's parents, but they aren't the same, and my friend Dot, while she has become my "person" she still doesn't fill the void of a mother and I don't expect her to. She has, however, been a really good friend and someone I rely on very much.

When I was 19 and ready to move out on my own, seeing my family on a regular basis was the furthest thing on my mind. But now, since I have had kids, I really want them to get to know my side of the family. I want them to be able to see where I came from and learn some of my values.

My grandparents, to me, were two of the best people I could ever meet. No one could live up to their expectations; however, one could try. They never said anything they didn't mean and they always kept their word.

My mom, on the other hand, always seemed to struggle with her life. While she had many opportunities, she seemed to not find all of them. I wish I could have more time with her. I will always live with the thought that I didn't do enough for her.

I love my family and wish I had spent more time with them while they were here. I need to remember this and spend more time with the family I have left.

2 comments:

ying-ko-4 said...

Oh Katie...how touching and well written. I truly understand about missing our family.

Beth said...

Yes, enjoy the ones who are left, but also remember the good memories of the ones who are gone. And also know that you WILL see them again someday and they are with you ALL THE TIME. You can talk to them any time you want to, they just can't answer with words. I love ya!